


Go ahead and steal my heart (you've already stolen everything else)

by NightsMeridian



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex might have some kleptomaniac tendencies, F/F, I'm pretty sure J'onn didn't mean for Alex to use her training for this at least, Really Cracky, Sneaky!Alex, did I mention this was cracky?, misuse of Deo training, not very canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 21:37:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9204386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightsMeridian/pseuds/NightsMeridian
Summary: Stuff gets stolen, Maggie is confused, Kara is surprisingly unhelpful and Alex is much more sneaky than she looks.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this idea even came from, but I think I was sleep deprived? So I'll just blame that ;) Anyway, the fic basically sort of follows the show's storyline with Maggie/Alex meeting and such but otherwise just moves along a completely different path. It is a cracky fic after all. All my thanks to my beta, for his hard work on this.

* * *

 

Maggie sighed as she sorted through her bag again, before glancing once more at the things littering the trunk of the police cruiser. Her gloves remained mysteriously missing however and she shoved one of her half-numb hands into her hair in frustration. She could’ve sworn she had packed them into the bag yesterday, but they were nowhere to be found and she had left her other gloves at home.

The weather had done an inexplicable 180 almost overnight. A chilly gust of wind whistled past her ears, slicing through the layers of clothing she wore before settling into her very bones. And even though she was used to this particular type of cold weather, she really did enjoy actually being able to feel her fingers.

She rubbed her hands together as she approached the crime-scene, before shoving them into her pockets of her winter coat. Hopefully this wouldn’t take too long and she could get through it before her limbs turned into popsicles.

She was just about to approach some of the officers that were already on site when she noticed movement from the corners of her eyes.

“Great,” she mumbled under her breath when she spied a familiar leather-clad figure walk up to her, followed by Supergirl. “Of course, just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.”

“Detective Sawyer,” Alex greeted her and Maggie just grunted in response, not wanting a repeat performance of the handful of times they had butted heads over the past few weeks.

They had spend a fair amount of time together solving cases though and Maggie had to admit she was intrigued by Alex pretty much from the moment they met. Of course that didn’t mean she had to like the DEO butting into her cases all the time. Something that suspiciously kept happening more and more often.

Shivering, she brought her hands in front of her face and blew on her freezing digits. “Alien victim or alien perp,” she questioned while rubbing her hands together again.

“Both,” Supergirl answered before Alex could.

Maggie flashed a quick irritated glance the superhero’s way before walking up to the sheet-covered form lying in front of an abandoned building. Her annoyance with the whole situation only increased when she noticed Supergirl standing there in her usual attire and apparently not being remotely affected by the freezing temperature.

Alex lifted the sheet to reveal the form underneath it and Maggie whistled in response. “Well that’s new at least,” she muttered as she took in the vaguely blue-green form completely covered in a translucent slimy substance. She wrinkled her nose at the smell and stood back up to rub her hands back together once more. “There are a few alien species that secrete a substance like that but this guy seems completely covered in it.”

“We’ll take the body back to our lab to examine further,” Alex spoke up and Maggie quirked up an eyebrow at that.

“Can I be kept in the loop at least?”

She noticed Supergirl glancing at her, especially after she repeatedly blew air across her frozen hands. “What?” she muttered on a grumpy tone when the superhero continued to stare. “Not all of us are impervious to the weather and I somehow misplaced my gloves. I’m sorry if trying to prevent my hands from falling off is bothering you so much.”

“You mispl…” Supergirl halted mid sentence and exchanged a look with Alex that Maggie didn’t get the meaning off. Though the way Alex shrugged made her think she was missing something there.

“Can we get back to the case?” Maggie groused.

“Yes of course,” Alex said. “We’ll keep you informed, have a good day Detective.”

The cheery way Alex said goodbye completely stunned Maggie and she stood there for a few seconds, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened there.

 

* * *

 

The gloves never reappeared and her stapler went missing 2 days later, though she didn’t think too much of it then.

In hindsight, maybe she should’ve.

 

* * *

 

“I swear I did not take your Jedi Knight figurine,” Jack said while holding up his hands up in a placating way.

“Sure?” Maggie narrowed her eyes at him, since any prank at the precinct inevitably led back to Jack and it wouldn’t be the first time he pulled something like this. This was the guy that had once spent every day over 2 weeks, moving her desk around her office until she had thought she was going insane.

“Cross my heart.”

She sighed and leaned back against the wall. “My stapler also disappeared a few days ago and if it’s not you, then I’m wondering who else is suicidal enough to think it’s funny to steal my stuff.”

“I honestly have no idea.”

“Me neither.

And that’s what bothered her more than her Star Wars figurine going missing.

 

* * *

 

She arrived back in her office a few hours later after tracing down a lead to find an empty spot on her desk where her favorite coffee mug used to be and she swore she was going to shoot the person behind all of this.

And then shoot them _again_ for good measure.

 

* * *

 

After a few pencils and a stapler she had borrowed from a colleague also went missing she was seriously considering requesting the security tapes of the precinct just to figure out who the mysterious thief was. Though Maggie figured trying to explain to her boss how she needed to find someone stealing office supplies, a Star Wars figurine and her favorite coffee mug, might not go over so well.

On the up-side, she thought as she glanced across her desk at her dwindling amount of office supplies, she was pretty sure there wasn’t going to be much left to steal soon enough.

 

* * *

 

Of course she was proven wrong barely a day later.

 

* * *

 

“You’re in a mood.”

“Save it Danvers,” she hissed as she walked around the crime scene. “I’m having a pretty shitty day and I really don’t need for you to add to it.”

“Alright,” Alex said, though to Maggie’s annoyance she kept hovering around. “Sounds like you could use a break.” It sounded like a suggestion and Maggie perked up and raised her eyebrows at Alex.

“A break?”

“Some winding down after work? To make the day less shitty and all.”

Alex was avoiding her eyes while she spoke and Maggie crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side, her attention having shifted fully to the woman standing in front of her.

“And I assume you have something in mind?”

“Yeah I…”

A loud woosh interrupted whatever Alex was going to say next and Supergirl landed in front of them.

“Of course you called in the girl of steel,” she grunted while rolling her eyes. “You know the science division has the situation pretty much under control, we likely won’t even need the help of the DEO to solve this one.”

Supergirl’s constant appearances whenever she was working a case with Alex was getting on her nerves. Often she only seemed to be hanging out with Alex and talking about some things before disappearing again and Maggie knew the nagging feeling she had whenever she saw them together was jealousy.

She spied Alex handing Supergirl a bottle of water from the corners of her eyes and blew out an exasperated breath. She knew bullets had no effect on the superhero but she was seriously considering using her as target practice all the same.

“Whats her deal,” she heard Supergirl ask on a conspiratorial tone, not even being the least bit subtle by nodding Maggie’s way.

Maggie bristled and stalked over to where Alex and Supergirl were standing a few steps away. “My deal,” she snarled while throwing a menacing glare Supergirl’s way, “is that I was working on a report this morning and I came back from a coffee break to find out that some prankster with a deathwish stole my keyboard.”

Supergirl spat out a mouth full of water, coughing to clear her throat and Maggie fixed her with another glare.

“I uhm...I need to go...uhm…” Supergirl’s eyes darted around furiously, “over there..yep, bye Alex, bye Detective.”

She flew away before Maggie had the chance to say anything else and Alex shrugged before walking over the DEO van she had arrived in.

 

* * *

 

Maggie figured it made sense though. I mean how else would someone steal a keyboard out of a precinct full of cops? It had to be Supergirl, but she just couldn’t figure out why the superhero would keep playing these pranks on her.

Grumbling, she erased a few of the words words in the report she was typing. The new keyboard was smaller and took some getting used to. Not to mention the looks she received when she explained her old keyboard went mysteriously missing as she requested a new one from the requisition department.

She had compiled a list of possible culprits earlier on the day and every single time she came back to Supergirl. It had to be her. She just couldn’t figure out why.

A strange knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts and she frowned and rolled the muscles in her shoulders. “Come in.”

She nearly fell from her chair at the sight that greeted her. Supergirl stumbled into her office, a mountain of stuff stacked precariously in her arms, and she kicked the door closed behind her a little bit too hard judging from the woodwork creaking in protest. Though not before Maggie caught a glimpse from the hallway outside of her office, crowding with people all glancing their way.

“Uhm...what the hell is all this?” She questioned while gesturing to the stuff Supergirl unceremoniously dumped on top of her desk.

And that was when she saw it was actually _her_ stuff. Her favorite coffee mug, 2 staplers, half a dozen pens, the Star Wars figurine, a pair of gloves, a keyboard and a… Maggie glanced behind her to the empty space in her office she hadn’t noticed before, then back to the coat-rack Supergirl placed in front of her desk.

“I didn’t even notice that was miss...how did...you know what, never mind, I don’t even want to know. Could you at least tell me what the hell was the point of all this?”

“I can assure you Detective, it wasn’t me. I’m only trying to do my good deed for the day and I uhm..well you kept complaining about misplacing your stuff so it was only right for me to uhm..find it again for you?”

Maggie finally glanced away from the coat-rack to narrow her eyes at Supergirl standing in front of her, arms folded across her chest. “Something tells me you know more this. And if it’s not you then it’s..” She let the sentence hang for a moment, struck by a sudden realization. “It’s Alex isn’t it?”

“Uhm..noooo I don’t I mean..” Supergirl rocked on the balls of her feet before glancing across her shoulder. “Oooh you know there’s a cat uhm...lady that needs help with..uh...crossing the street. I’ll see you around Detective.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Maggie complained when Supergirl dove straight through the open window in her office instead of walking back out of the door.

 

* * *

 

Maggie sighed as she placed down the scalding cup of coffee on it’s usual place on her desk. There was too much paperwork to sort through these past few days and she much preferred going back out in the field. Especially since she still hadn’t had the opportunity to confront a certain Agent with her kleptomaniac tendencies.

She walked out of her office briefly to have a few documents signed and as she walked back in, automatically reached for the cup of coffee to take a sip. Only to find it was no longer there.

Maggie blinked and stared at the empty spot, before blowing out an exasperated breath.

Unlocking her phone she pressed a name while tapping on the floor impatiently.

“Danvers.”

“Seriously, Danvers, if you wanted coffee so badly you could’ve just asked you know.”

“Hmm..if I wanted just the coffee I would’ve gotten some instead of that dishwater in your cup. It’s honestly disgusting, I don’t know how you drink this stuff without it burning a hole through your stomach.”

“So you just wanted the cup then?” Maggie queried, smiling despite herself at the ludicrity of the situation. “Along with all the other stuff you stole from me.”

“I was actually planning to see how long it took you to figure it out but then Supergirl had to ruin my plans,” Alex said, sounding slightly disappointed at that particular turn of events.

“So wait...it _was_ actually you that stole my coat rack?”

“Yes, though I’ll admit it wasn’t very practical...I think I prefer your coffee cup.”

Maggie laughed despite herself and idly traced the circles left behind on her wooden desk where she usually placed her cup. “I am actually very fond of that particular cup.”

There was a moment of silence before Alex’s voice dropped an octave, “how fond?”

“Are you holding my coffee cup hostage?” Maggie asked on an incredulous tone. She shook her head bemusedly and glanced out of the window of her office. “Okay I’ll play, what do you want in return?”

“Nothing much actually, just a few more games of pool? We haven’t really hung out for weeks.”

Maggie swore Alex’s voice wavered as she made the proposition and she wondered how she had missed all the signs. Alex’s repeated requests to do something together and how she had tried to start up idle conversation whenever they met at a crime-scene. Maybe it was because she was so blinded by her jealousy of Supergirl and the fact Alex did give off mixed signals at times.

“If I can win my favorite coffee cup back that way, then sure,” Maggie responded after a moment’s contemplation. “Tomorrow night around 9?”

“That works, see you then Maggie.”

* * *

 

 

“I thought you wanted your coffee cup back, not having me keep it forever,” Alex remarked with a smug smirk playing around her lips as she potted the eightball.

“Yeah yeah,” Maggie huffed as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ears, “I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I had known you rigged the game.”

“Rigged?” Alex snorted and gave her a amused smile that Maggie shouldn’t find as attractive as she did. “There’s absolutely no reason for me to rig these games considering how poor you are at playing pool.” She chuckled then and Maggie narrowed her eyes. “I’m thinking we should play more often though, you know so you could some practice in? Maybe you’ll win the coffee cup back in a few months from now.”

Leaning back against the pool table, Maggie tilted her head in response to Alex’s teasing remarks. “I could also just arrest you for breaking and entering and on multiple counts of theft of police property.” She unclipped the handcuffs from her belt and dangled them in front of Alex’s face.

“I kind of figured you’d save the handcuffs until at least after the second date or so, but…” Alex winked and Maggie’s mouth fell open.

She recovered fairly quickly and took a few steps closer to where Alex was standing, leaning into her personal space. “Asking me out on a date hmm? I think you’ll have to step up your game a little,” she whispered on a sultry tone.

“I can,” Alex replied immediately, their eyes locking for a moment that took Maggie’s breath away. “Trust me on that.”

“I’ll hold you to that. Though it will have to be another day, it’s getting late and I have an early shift tomorrow.”

Alex looked disappointed and Maggie caught her opening her mouth a few times to say something, but she grabbed her jacket instead and walked to the exit of the bar. “Right uhm, I’ll see you around then.” And Maggie stared after her, feeling confused at Alex’s sudden departure while waging an internal war with whether or not to run after her.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she grabbed her own jacket where she left it draped over a chair and pulled it on. She vowed to text Alex when she got home to set up another pool night that week since she had a great time that night. But she was still left a little confused as to what Alex’s intentions were exactly.

Fishing her keys from her jacket, she rounded the corner only to find an empty spot where her motorbike used to be.

“Seriously?”

 _Apparently_ Alex’s intentions were to drive her mad.

 

* * *

 

“My bike, really?” She growled out the moment Alex opened the door.

“Uhm...yeah,” Alex brushed through her hair with one of her hands and actually looked a bit sheepish. “Sorry, I guess it was a bit much?”

“Well it’s certainly a stunt that left an impression, so if that was the idea you succeeded,” Maggie said while crossing her arms. Then she looked past Alex into her apartment. “Can I at least know where you stashed it?”

“Right...yeah it’s in the garage, I’ll uhm..I’ll walk you there,” Alex muttered while avoiding her eyes. “Sorry, I guess I thought...well I didn’t know what I was thinking really, I’ll grab my jack..”

“Alex,” Maggie stopped her by placing a hand on Alex’s arm. “Why?” she questioned when Alex finally met her eyes.

“You said it already,” Alex explained while turning to walk back into her apartment. “I wanted to leave an impression.”

Maggie chuckled as she closed the door behind her and sauntered up to where Alex was leaning against a kitchen counter. “You’re an idiot you know that? You go to this much trouble, swiping my stuff and all that, and by the way you still have to tell me how the hell you managed to smuggle out a coat rack out of a freaking police station sometimes. But all that...just to get my attention?”

Taking a deep breath she placed the tips of her fingers underneath Alex’s chin and lifted it up so she could look into Alex’s eyes. “You pretty much got my attention the moment you swaggered over and kicked me out of my own crime scene.”

“Yeah?” Alex questioned, her eyes dipping to Maggie’s lips before flicking back up.

“Yeah,” Maggie confirmed.

A few seconds passed and then Alex smirked, little lights twinkling in her eyes as she placed a hand on Maggie’s cheek. “For the record, it was technically _my_ crime-scene.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Danvers.”

 

* * *

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I was planning on explaining the bike-napping but well I suppose Alex just roped Kara into her devious plans, just so I can explain that one away.


End file.
